4 weeks helping students navigate the waters of conflict. Conflict is a lot like cliff-diving, in a way. The second you submerge under the water of conflict, you’re usually disoriented and your perception of yourself and others is off. That’s probably why we handle conflict so poorly when we’re in it. Fortunately, the gospel helps us navigate conflict in healthier and more balanced ways. And since the splash of conflict is inevitable in life, we’d be wise to embrace taking our cues toward others from God’s cues toward us in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Video Messages Included
Intro: Conflict is disorienting. It alters our perception of ourselves and others in ways that lead us to some really unhealthy and damaging behaviors.
Truth: But Jesus proposed that there’s a way toward a healthier perception—one that gives way to light rather than darkness even in the midst of conflict. When we relearn to see things the way Jesus sees them instead of the way our life experiences have taught us to see them, we’ll find greater health and balance in the midst of life’s inevitable conflicts.
The Point: The gospel changes what you can see and be in the deep
Intro: We often fight like we’re on a seesaw with the other person. We take turns being hurtful and dramatic. We react. Their wounds and trauma and flaws mix with our wounds and trauma and flaws, and the result can be pretty destructive.
Truth: When the prophet Joel relayed God’s message that the Israelites should return to him, he included reassurance of why that would be a good idea on their part: because God is gracious, patient, and His love is steadfast. He’s steady. We’ll discover far fewer dramatic swings during conflict when we’re steady too.
The Point: Steadfastness is stabilizing
Intro: Whether we love risk-taking in general or not, none of us enjoy risking rejection in the midst of conflict. That’s why we handle conflict in such an unhealthy way—to avoid more pain. We definitely don’t reach out and offer a truce first. Too risky.
Truth: But when Paul wrote Titus a letter about leading churches experiencing conflict, he pointed out that God reached out first in humanity’s conflict with Him not because of who we are, but because of who He is. Jesus took on the risk of rejection from us and from God because He knew our redemption was worth it. When we see through that lens, we’ll be willing to take that same risk for others.
The Point: Reconciliation is worth the risk
Intro: Conflict is damaging in large part because we’re not simply debating about ideas, we’re fighting a person. It’s not about their intellectual conclusions versus your intellectual conclusions. It’s personal. It’s about trust and love. It’s you versus them.
Truth: Paul knew that’s the paradigm humans default to in conflict, so when he wrote his letter to the Ephesians Christians, he taught them that there is a spiritual war being waged underneath the surface whenever we’re in conflict. Satan wants sin to win in us, and Jesus wants the gospel to win in us.
The Point: Your war is with powers, not people